There is a strong melancholy that emerges from my heart evertime I see this photograph. Is it the wide endless desert sky that reminds me of my youthful reckless days? Or perhaps the place itself — with those lamps towering above me everytime I came out of the photography dark room to take the last bus during the dry cold winter? The smell of Texas grass? Was it that air so pure that bordered in being bland? The loneliness of the place, the city, and my heart?
If you think of it, my heart aches for a barren flat land and a lonely sky. Now that I think of it, I yearn for senseless days of my younger years where only dreams existed but nothing more. The idleness of my past now jolts my mind longing for it. The recklessnes of other years now makes my heart sit to remember them in the serenity of the present. The fire that ignited my dreams have now scorched my hopes.
And just perhaps that is what I fear most when I see this photograph. That all I ever wanted has become, all that I dreamed has vanished, for there is no future to pursuit since I am here now. And that — that I can’t bear.
Photo I shot at Laredo, Texas. Back in 2006 at the campus of Texas A&M International University, aka, TAMIU.